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Understanding Your Grief: Ten Essential Touchstones for Finding Hope and Healing Your Heart
Ebook Download Understanding Your Grief: Ten Essential Touchstones for Finding Hope and Healing Your Heart
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Explaining the important difference between grief and mourning, this book explores every mourner's need to acknowledge death and embrace the pain of loss. Also explored are the many factors that make each person's grief unique and the many normal thoughts and feelings mourners might have. Questions of spirituality and religion are addressed as well. This book upholds the rights of mourners to be compassionate with themselves, to lean on others for help, and to trust in their ability to heal.
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Audible Audiobook
Listening Length: 5 hours and 30 minutes
Program Type: Audiobook
Version: Unabridged
Publisher: Dreamscape Media, LLC
Audible.com Release Date: February 14, 2019
Whispersync for Voice: Ready
Language: English, English
ASIN: B07NPY179H
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
I was really looking forward to this book after reading an excerpt a while back on the physical symptoms of grief, I could relate to that. However, when the book arrived I went cold. His chapter on caring for the physical self I found to be didactic and self righteous ( stop smoking now! stop eating fat), and ridiculous (have a relationship with a physician, laugh a lot (!!??) --- After having known Stephen Levine in the 1980s who, by the way was a profound teacher in death and dying and grieving and who would roll tobacco during breaks at his workshops, I thought who is this Mr. Wolfelt? Grieving is such a huge and transforming experience, the grieving one should be totally accepted...and accepting of herself, no matter what "bad habits" they have...be it sugar or tobacco or weed or processed food or booze....whatever! Grief is a raw and deep and painful journey into the unknown and not a time to be preached to or told what you must or must not do. I trust my instincts when they tell me parts of this book had a didactic tone. I am losing my mother these days and I don't need this book.
I've recently completed an annotated bibliography of books on grief for the hospice where I volunteer. I read over twenty and if I were asked which one I'd recommend first, it would be this one.One of the problems in writing a book is that you are writing to readers who are stressed, torn in different directions, and may have trouble focusing. So it's important to get a lot across in an accessible way. Wolfelt does this.Each "Touchstone" is clearly discussed with concrete suggestions of how to work through it. The Touchstones more or less follow a chronological order, though he stresses the grief process is not linear, and that there are not stages that one works through, one, two, three.Wolstone has written a companion book on keeping a journal and makes a number of suggestions of what might write. I know from personal experience how helpful writing can be in dealing with grief, though I am not oriented toward journals. If you are, I think it would be worthwhile checking out that book as well as reading this.
Having lost my husband, I feel a huge loss and void in my life. I was frantic to find some way to get through the abyss...and this book was recommended to me. Initially, I found the author to be very repetitive, so reading it was somewhat tedious. As I reached Touchstone Four, I noticed that what he was saying really spoke to me and described what I am feeling/dealing with pretty accurately. I realize now that Wolfelt's repetitive style is designed for people who are grieving and mourning, because the grieving process causes loss of concentration and decreased ability to retain information. You are numb with grief and yet your brain is in over-drive, so the repetition helps what he is saying to really sink in.I am using this book as the "course outline and textbook", so to speak, for a bereavement group that I am attending. The book and it's accompanying journal are great for giving each member of our group focus on the tasks and issues at hand and keeping us from wandering aimlessly in the confusion of our grief. I have attended groups after other losses in my life, but this one is the best because it does have strong guidance and direction from both the author and our chaplain.A friend of mine just lost his father...when I am finished with it, I think I will pass this book along to him.
I bought this book for my brother-in-law after his wife passed. He has thanked me every time he sees me and shows me excerpts from the book that have helped him understand and cope with his loss. He has asked me to send a copy to his son, too. I understand that there are several churches that are using it as a teaching guide for others who are suffering losses.
A special book for someone grieving that would be an ideal gift to give. Anything Alan Wolfelt has written and published I have gleaned a wealth of understanding. Highly recommend this along with the corresponding journal. Those IN the grieving process be exceptionally patient with the process and those that are family and friends of someone in "this place" think before you speak. Encourage and be there for the person grieving. Being ignored is painful and cruel.
After searching for over a year for a book to soothe my grieving heart after the death of my husband last May...this book is it. It doesn't give tons of grief stories....or suggest to me how to grieve...it allows me to accept my grieving as unigue to me and offers comfort that what I am experiencing is part of the "journey" that I am on...and I am not "crazy" nor do I need to "get over it"...It is what it is and I am encouraged to feel my husband's presence AS I feel the waves of loss and sadness...
Of all the books I've read since my son was killed (and there are plenty), this one would be at the top of the recommendation list for the bereaved to read. It thoroughly covers every facet of grief that one will ever experience along the journey. For once, I had my own worst time of day acknowledged and explained. In our mourning-avoiding society, this book validates and fortifies the bereaved. In addition, Ph.D. Wolfelt adeptly and compassionately shows the way to integrate grief into a positive transformation toward a new life of hope as our loved ones would want us to live.(Note: Knowing the nature of grief as it is, I suggest this book might be best read months after an intense loss. Otherwise you may find yourself reading each sentence or paragraph over and over trying to make sense of it due to the inherent lack of concentration caused by the severe assault to the mind as well as the heart. Where ever you are along the grief journey, it is never too late to read this book and begin proactive healing.)
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